Pleased to meet you, JoQusary

JoQusary is an MS Paint aficionado, a thoughtful visual responder, and a wonderfully avid hater of aliens. Her avant-garde artworks make the world tremble with intrigue, so I was delighted to have the opportunity to interview her for PA-G:

Your artworks follow the life and times of your ordinary, down-to-earth heroine JoQusary. Common themes in your art include love, self-reflection, and the bitch-slapping of alien-eyed anime girls. What is the inspiration behind these lovely MS Paint artworks?

I used to be a pen and paper artist before my brother stuffed the scanner with his packet of instant noodles - he thought this method would ensure the safety of his food supply before aliens come to invade Earth in 2012.

I had no problems with aliens until one day when a human male whom I had a crush on ran off with one of them. It broke my heart so much that I began to waste myself away drinking 16 cups of coffee per day while drawing on my laptop with MS Paint. An evil arch-nemesis of mine stumbled upon my drawings while attempting to pour cyanide into my latte and, well… we somehow got romantically involved thereon. He seems to enjoy being my muse while brewing cups of coffee for me now. I hope he doesn’t lace them with cyanide.

I’m extremely intrigued by “I Had a Weird Dream.” It appears as though you’re preparing your double-headed demon horse to launch an attack on a team of high school cheerleaders, but perhaps I am mistaken. Please tell me more about your strange dream and this artwork.

It is my habit to record any dream I experience in a dream journal whether in writing or drawing. In “I Had a Weird Dream,” I dreamed that the world has two suns. As if the global warming is not enough to kill us all. I found myself standing alone in the middle of a dry, parched land when suddenly a most peculiar looking two-headed creature of unknown species approached me, dragging with it an elaborate crib made of gold and red velvet. Veins of red stream gushed out of the ground underneath the crib. It contained the most beautiful infant I have ever seen.

The creature asked me if I could spare some milk for the infant. I have no experience in breast-feeding at all, but strangely that did not stop me from nursing him. That gained me approval from the creature, which before mysteriously vanishing into thin air said, “For centuries we have sought for his love.” I have been searching for someone who could interpret this weird dream, but to no avail.

And then there’s “How to Make Curry Puffs.” This looks like a delectable meal that incorporates a mixture of Southeast Asian cooking techniques along with the ingenious use of human sweat. Please tell me more about this delightful recipe.

A Chinese monk once told me that the secret to making the best curry puffs in the world is to press the dough between human armpits. The appearance and flavour of the curry puff depends on the humidity of armpits used in the process. Aside from giving the curry puff its trademark beautiful ring patterns, this method also ensures perfect salty and savoury taste that lingers in one’s palate after each crunchy bite. I thought it would be nice to share this fascinating recipe with the world through my artwork.

“Sick of Anime Girls” – who isn’t? Many young women today become fixated on the “anime girl” look, only to later find out that they attract unwanted attention from aliens. I really like your artwork because it seems as though you are slapping this anime girl so hard that you’re actually transferring your wisdom through your hand to her brain. Please tell me more about this phenomenal masterpiece.

As everyone is aware, the “anime girl” look craze has crept its way out of Japan and into the shores of other nations which originally did not have blonde Asian girls with eyes as big as rugby balls. Girls as young as 2 to 92 are deluded into thinking that rather than being themselves, looking like a non-existent cartoon character with excessively retarded mannerism will get them their prince charming, who will then whisk them away to live happily ever after in a silver-paved kingdom somewhere on the Moon.

Sadly, what they do not realize is that this message has been subliminally embedded in anime series targeted to young female audience by a group of horny aliens. These aliens, desolate of the female sex, strive to procreate with our females in order to preserve their alien race – by fashioning anime girls to suit the desired alien look before the process of selective abduction. I believe I am born with a mission to wake up all human girls in this world from submitting their will to these horny aliens. Once I have tried imposing the “Bitch Slap of Consciousness” on an anime girl for this purpose. Unfortunately, I have only come to realize that there was never a brain inside an anime girl’s two-dimensional skull.

I can really relate to “Fickle.” In four simple comic squares, you capture the complex and elusive nature of the female species. Just how is a man supposed to react to such unpredictable behavior? 

Being a woman myself, I admit that it is sometimes difficult to stick to a single feeling for a man at one time especially when he is not aware of it. At times, a man who unluckily becomes a woman’s object of affection might be adored like a god when she is in a good disposition; or showered with kisses when she is feeling passionate; or thrashed when she is having her menses. If only men knew when to hug and when to run according to women’s mood, relationships would have been easy breezy. But then again, where’s the adventure in such relationship?

Finally, what is your favorite color? Why is it the best color ever known to mankind?

I like the colour red – it symbolizes my attraction to life. In life one can never escape from anger, lust, guilt, sin, passion, joy, love, and sacrifice… just as one can never escape from seeing red. Red even presents itself among those who are colour-blind. It is the most tenacious colour on earth, and as demonstrated by most serial killers you can never simply wash away red blood with any kind of detergent. I believe it is the shade that reminds mankind to be determined and resolute in whatever they aim for in life, be it a silver-paved kingdom on the Moon or the tastiest curry puff in the world.

Interview with a notable visionary: Reub

Reub is a master of minimalism and some other ism I can't remember right now. When he recently created a rendition of Starry Starry Night which is vastly superior to the original, I realized it was high time that I interviewed him for PA-G:

Your artworks are simple, yet hold an inscrutible mystique. Take "Penis" for example. When I first saw it, I thought 'this is just a black line with 'penis' written in red letters above it.' But after looking at it several times, I realized there was a subtle brilliance at work. Please tell me more about "Penis."

Ever since I was a young lad, growing up in a household of artists I was always told that my work needs meaning and needs to portray emotion and dedication to my work - "penis" was a form of protest against this idea. I thought that creating this work of art would defy the boundaries of what art is; but little did I know that no matter what, art will always be motivated by something, and by creating something with no meaning, I am actually giving it meaning. I am eternally stuck in this paradox.

Then there's "Lol I'm oprah cake." Many people don't realize what lengths Oprah will go through to jam as much food as possible down her throat, but you obviously do. Could you tell me more about this incredible masterpiece?

It is a little known fact that Oprah has the world record for being the biggest, most deceiving cake-hungry owl murdering black woman ever to drive a bulldozer. But the owl tricked her by pooping in the cake. Oprah ate it anyway.

Hnnng. What the hell is "hnnnng math," and why am I stupid enough to have never heard of it before?

"hnnnng math" is the mathematics that manifests in the very core of your soul. One will discover this math only when true enlightenment is achieved. The night I decided I needed no sleep and I could study the whole night before an examination was the faithful night in which i was enlightened.

"Table mountain and sharks." This basically looks like Cape Town, South Africa, only 100 times better. Please elaborate on this breathtaking achievement.

South Africa is my homeland, and a land often praised by tourists and foreigners for its culture and landscapes. I made this artwork as a warning to all tourists, exposing the underbelly of the favored Cape Town. It's nice and all, but it overflows with greed and sharks. Totally overrated.

What about "your not free too grammar" and "Free?" Why do I suddenly feel more intelligenter after seeing these artworks?

"your not free too grammar" is a phrase very close to my heart. I came home one night, over-exhausted, and all of a sudden these words came to mind. Nothing describes our current society better than these 5 words. You are not free to say what you want, your not free too grammar. I hope these 2 artworks inspire people to say what they want and not consider the consequences.

Last of all, what's your favourite colour? Why is it the best colour in the known universe?

This is a question that has scratched its nails at the chalk-board of my brain ever since I had a brain. I cannot favor a colour, it's like telling a mother to pick a favorite child. If you mix all the colours together, you get brown. I kinda like brown.

Interview with master artisan zylis

Zylis' artistic style is simple yet elegant, masculine yet sensitive. His portfolio is a mixture of macho men, bitch-ass skanky animals, and heart-wrenching violence. Regarded as an enigma by some and the antichrist by others, his artworks are thought-provoking pieces that can no longer be ignored.

Your artworks are truly moving and have touched the hearts of many. Just what inspires you from your day-to-day life to create such magnificent pieces?

Most of the zam in my artwork comes from the zop of everyday life. I think it all builds up in my head and then when I open up PAINT and start doodlin that stuff comes out. I have no clue where it comes from but wherever it does I want to go on an adventure there.

I’m afraid to know but I can’t help but ask: just what will happen if ‘someone challenge Tanky?’

He was created in the labs of maximum science in hopes of one day a challenger would step forth to make sweet battle with. What will happen is MAXIMUM BATTLE beyond even super human comprehension.

LOOOOOOAF has been both praised and criticized by the artistic community. Some hail it as the dawn of a new aesthetic movement, others curse it as an abomination barely worthy to be called art – Yet no one can deny its influence. Were you surprised by such an outpouring of visual responses to this artwork?

Me thinks i made LOOOOOOOOOOOAF and then laughed at him. Then he became very famous and then laughed at me. I wrote a book about it but it was never published because he controls the only printing press in the island.

Why IS Goaters pregnant?

Well, to but it BLUNTly: GOATERS IS A SLUT! I heard she was knocked up by earthworm jim.

When I was young, I thought McDonald’s was a magical place. Each happy meal was wondrous and special. I even had a birthday party there once, and all the happy meal “toys” I got were just miniature plastic versions of McDonald’s food. Now that memory has been violently raped by your artwork titled “BEND OVER AND BUY” submitted to the Fast Food is Evil art competition. So what is the inspiration behind this avant-garde artwork?

Theres something fishey about how much kids love that shit. also they sued this old pub in Scotland because they had the same name.

I want a T-Hawk as soon as possible. Where can I pick one up?

There's one holstered in my belt at all moments, unless I'm naked then it's in my hand.

What’s your favorite color? Why is it the best color in the universe?

This question has troubled me since birth. Humans can see so little of color. There are better ones out there only reachable with bionic eyes or psychedelic drugs. I like the color that I imagine Saturn would look like up close.   TRANSITION OUT

Good morning, Cat's Meow

CatsMeow specializes in cut-and-pasted MS Paint collages, kitties, and marzipan babies. She's a top artist and pioneer at Paint Avant-Garde, and I recently had the great fortune to interview her:

You seem to be well-versed in the art of digital drawing. How did you get started in this wonderful pastime?

I was probably around eight years old the first time I saw someone draw in Microsoft Paint. Witnessing someone draw on a computer screen with a mouse blew my mind. I was never particularly good at drawing or coloring on paper, but for some reason I developed a knack for drawing with a mouse or touch pad. I've used more advanced digital drawing and editing programs before, but I always return to MS Paint. It's like an extension of my body or something. I know my way around the program and with it I can build images of whatever I dream up. Sure, there may be jagged edges but that's just become part of the style. If I really wanted straight edges, I could do it, and without a more advanced program too. MS Paint allows me to feel like I am the one drawing, and not just "cheating" by letting the software do it. Restrictions often give way to the best creativity.

I absolutely love "Buffalo Gals" - it both comforts me and horrifies me simultaneously. What is the inspiration behind this artwork?

Thank you, and I am so glad to comfort and horrify you all at once! I took a guitar class in high school and one of the simple traditional songs in our book was "Buffalo Gals." The lyrics go, "Buffalo gals, won't you come out tonight? Come out tonight?? Come out tonight?! Buffalo gals, won't you come out tonight, and dance by the light of the moon?!?" Well, I added the excessive punctuation for dramatic purposes. Anyway, I thought these lyrics were funny so I sketched a very literal cartoon of some buffalo-headed women dancing in the moonlight. My classmates enjoyed it so eventually I made it into an MS Painting, to horrify and comfort the world.

What's the meaning of "Fingerlegs" (or "We're all different with Linda Ellerbee")?

Well, I saw a picture online of a person who had their forearm amputated, and they had gotten a tattoo of a big fingernail near the end of the nub, so their short arm had essentially become a giant finger. Then I wondered, what if someone had a big nail tattooed on each of their amputated legs? It would be just like when you take your hand and make your index and middle finger walk across surface in front of you. Only the real thing! Fingerlegs! So I clipped some anatomical drawings to see how someone might look with either the tattooed arm as legs or with real fingers as legs. I liked them both, so I mangled up some more people and added Linda Ellerbee's head on one.. Why Linda? Maybe because I miss watching Nick News in the morning, or maybe because her head really complements those uneven foot-hands.

"I Made It!" seems to sum up 90% of my experiences at McDonald's. Is there a story behind this artwork?

My college roommate worked at McDonald's and told me about this custodian who worked at her store, an old black man with big separated teeth and such. Somehow (probably because it actually happens all the time) we came up with the scenario of a McDonald's customer angrily returning their food to the counter, yelling at the cashier, with the crazy old janitor in the background claiming responsibility for the order. I brought the vision to life because I believe the janitorial takeover of McDonald's food service is a growing worldwide concern and it is imperative for the public to witness such accurate propaganda as I have made here...I made it!

What about "Normal Woman" and "Clones of Normal Woman?" This woman appears to be exceedingly normal.

"Normal Woman" was a follow up to "Ordinary Guy," which were both experiments in MS Painting technique. I wanted to see how it would look to paint over a large photograph in patches of color I sampled from the original photo. It turned out cool and it's kind of a fun way to get a good (or normal?) looking picture. I got the photos from actually searching images of "normal women" and "ordinary guys." So that woman is, indeed, exceedingly normal. Her cloning incident happened when I was trying to choose a background for her. I had recently learned how to easily proportionally resize selections on MS Paint and went a little crazy with the normal woman, if that's possible. I took a screenshot because I liked how it showed the Microsoft Paint window, hinting at what I'm working with.

Who’s your favorite artist on Paint Avant-Garde and why?

I've really been enjoying the works of Austerlitz. Why? Well besides the recurring inclusion of my most favorite things (cats, Whoopi Goldberg, and Fred Savage), I'm just very jealous that I didn't think of "The Great CATSby" first!

Is digital drawing your only creative outlet, or do you have others (and if so, what are they)?

Besides writing obscene poetry, I have a disturbing and often visually nauseating blog at http://manglejangles.blogspot.com/.

And finally, what’s your favorite color? Why is it vastly superior to other colors?

Bright fuschia, and honorable mention to cyan, because I find that those colors are the most difficult to stare at. Especially when the two are alternating in front of your eyes at a rapid rate.

Interview with artist GiliusThunderhead

GiliusThunderhead's artworks range from cults to cats to commuter rails. He has an intriguing and unique portfolio of MS Paint art, and I recently had the opportunity to interview him:

How long have you been making art with MS Paint?

I have been making art with Paint for a long time, but not the type you see on my PA-G today. I first discovered Paint on our old, 486 computer when I was about 7 years old. Windows 3.1 had Paint way back when. I would draw elaborate plans for underground tunnel-complexes that would serve as my secret hideaway if I were to become an evil mastermind. I eventually abandoned that because our old-school printer would take over an hour to print just one page. But as for my PA-G, I began making the images you see there a little over a year ago.

I love your "Infamous Cult Leader" series. Do you think Charles Manson would approve?

Hahaha, glad you enjoy. Do I think Charles Manson would approve... I think Manson is too much of a malignant narcissist to give his seal of approval to any conception of his image that he doesn't have direct and complete control over. But I will say this. John Frusciante once said in a song, "A ship out in the distance, is here if I draw it." Don't look too long at the artwork, because Manson is there in the picture. The picture IS Manson.

Your artwork titled "Boston" is a charming portrayal of the average Bostonian. How is life on the Green Line?

If there are latent societal problems that are in need of addressing, the Green Line is the place they are going to come out. I think we should have social scientists and internal policy think tanks sit in on the Green Line undercover, and just make a careful study of things. Things in this country might change, fast. The Green Line can be a lovely reflection of half of everything that's wrong with our society. And I ride it almost every day. Excuse me while I vomit in this tiny bag.

What's the meaning of "Cat Butts"? The colors are lovely, and the "confucianism" tag is intriguing.

Hahaha. Thank you. I was up late one night creating a slew of random MS Paint artwork and that just came out. Cats are ridiculous creatures, and I've owned three of them. They are confusing, because when they go in the cat box, they will do their damndest to keep it a secret. "Hey, I'm not pooping in here!" But just look at the way their being was created... What they poop out of is, unfortunately, one of their body's most noticeable features. It's tragic, really. Originally the artwork was just going to be the cat butts and the sickly-colored poo-explosions, but then something told me, "No, I have to go 80's for this."

Your Cats vs. Lizards submission is worthy of explanation. What exactly is going on in "Cats Liberate Denver Intl. Airport"?

Yes, I call that one "Conspiracy Culture Satire Artwork." Everything in it is a reference to ideas from conspiracy culture. And I say that with love, because there really are some titans of research doing good work in the field of "Alternative Media" today. Basically, the murals you see are actual murals from Denver Airport, which seem to detail all kinds of weird things. World War III, evil Nazi terrorist soldiers, pandemics, disaster, Messianic figures, biblical prophecies like the US and Britain "beating their swords to plowshares," one world government, and many other things. Yes the murals are real, go take a look, they're weird. The cats in my picture are spiritually advanced beings shining their holy-cat light on our society's Power Elite, who embody control, repression, and just generally nasty stuff. But again, the artwork was created for the purpose of humor, so conspiracy-buff or not, please look at it and enjoy a good laugh.

What's your favorite artwork on PA-G and why?

Hmm, tough question because I love so much of the art that people are putting up these days. I like a lot of zylis's artwork for the sheer absurdity and ridiculousness of it all. I think I jive with his sense of humor. "LOOOOOAF" is probably my favorite at the moment. It's just so damn ridiculous. Any time I'm having a bad day, if I log in and see that face, I'm going to laugh. Not to mention the Great Art Feud of Visual Responses that spawned in its stead, which is one of the things I love best about the community.

Do you have other creative outlets (and if so, what are they)?

Yes, I do. I am currently a music student at a contemporary school. I've done music, acting, a little artwork, and I like to journal and write. But my greatest creative outlet I think is human conversation. I love human interaction and I think it affords me some of the greatest opportunities to behave creatively.

Last of all, what's your favorite color and why is it the best color in the world?

Yellow. It is the color of the holy light in the heart. It is the color of willpower and steadfastness. It is the color of the sun, which rises in the morning and chases the darkness away. And it was the color of my blanket when I was a little boy. We could all gain something from appreciating yellow.

Hello pirate, how do you do?

hellopirate2 joined Paint Avant-Garde when we were still just a ramshackle, eclectic collection of digital scribbles, so he's a bit of a PA-G pioneer. His artworks feature drugs, alcohol, sailors, prostitutes, and so many other lovely topics. I recently had a chance to interview him:

I think it's awesome that you're currently living in South Africa since that's a place I've always wanted to visit. What brought you there, and what country are you from originally?

Well I was born and raised in South Africa, it's a hard life, riding zebras to school, living in huts and fighting lions in my garden. Haha just kidding! No South Africa is a great place and I'm proud to live here it's a very diverse country. My native tongue is Afrikaans, it kind of sounds like Dutch. It was created by the Dutch settlers here in South Africa in the 1600's. I live near the coast and I just can't get enough of the ocean.

You have many intriguing artworks on PA-G, and I’d like if you could explain a few. I love your artworks "Witch Hunt" and "Witch House". What's the story behind the pig?

Oh those were hard to draw. Well, it all started when I read "Lord of the Flies" a book we had to do for school. It's about these kids getting stuck on island, where one of the kids stumble upon a pig's head rotting in the sun. The kid was hallucinating and thought the pig spoke to him, so well that's where I got the whole bewitched idea. And "Witch House" was when I was browsing through pictures of abandoned homes while browsing the net when I had the inspiration to draw.

 

What about "Praise Propane"? It looks like this man can give one hell of a sermon.

Well, I had the inspiration from a song I was listening to: "Pendulum - Propane Nightmares." I also saw the music video, which was about this group of people in a cult with this crazed priest guy who wanted to poison them and a few of the them escaped luckily. Haha I don't know it's just a good song really.

Tell me about "hOT mAMMA". This is seriously the sexiest dolphin I've ever seen.

Yet again I get most of my creative ideas from songs, but this band "Jax Panik - Dinosaur" is a local band but quite popular in South Africa. The song mostly goes about sex, rock-stars,  guitars and random fruit shaped things. The music video is also mostly Caribbean or Jamaican landscapes with dancing fruits and fish and it was just really hard not to draw anything about that song. It had a big effect on me haha.

A few of your artworks have some really good tattoos ("You Suck" and "Sailor", for example). Alcohol and mustaches also come up from time to time. Hell, I've even seen armpit hair more than once in your artworks...these are all very masculine themes. What other themes do you like to draw?

Well those are my most favorite things in the world so I can't help but draw them. Urm well I went through an emo phase a few years ago, but now I pretty much draw anything. I like drawing people mostly and a bit of landscape and cities as well. I try to think outside the box mostly because bland, boring art is a real waste I think haha.

Is digital doodling your only creative outlet, or do you have others (and if so, what are they)?

No, I do draw traditionally with a pen or pencil most of the time, but I also paint and have made a few embarrassing sculptures. But so far the most fun must have been to draw for PA-G. I do have a few other websites where I post other art with a bit more hard thought behind them:
http://www.facebook.com/l/fe32afAAgcOTX0Wr7e3dwVi-MPA/pe2te2r.deviantart.com/
and http://www.facebook.com/peter.go.poop.chantler

And finally, what’s your favorite color and why is it the best color in the world?

Well, I'm not sure really but I think after I looked at most of my houses I have built on Sims3 they're almost all in shades of green! Inside and out haha. I think it's my favorite color because everything just looks better in that shade.

Interview with artist DSFlora

 I've been continually impressed by the artworks of DSFlora, and I recently had an opportunity to interview him:

When did you start using MS Paint to create art?

I started using MS Paint while I was a student at UW-Madison, working as a DJ for the college radio station, WSUM. My first Paint artworks were for fliers to advertise the different radio shows I hosted. However, the hobby didn't really kick in until I was working my first job out of college, living with my parents. I was under a lot of stress at the time, and MS Paint offered a weird, and strangely relaxing way to unwind after work.

Who’s your favorite artist on Paint Avant-Garde and why?

It's tough to choose one. hellopirate2 has some classic works, and he pays attention to detail, which is rare for MS Painters. nametheGarels has a good theme going with his portraits. And I love GiliusThunderhead's series on "infamous cult leaders" ... you won't find that sort of thing anywhere else.

You have many intriguing artworks on PA-G, and I’d like if you could explain a few. What’s the meaning of “It Came from the Purple Void”? This artwork is quite scary!

It has no special meaning other than the idea of a ghastly thing hanging out in some vacuum of time and space. Sort of like an old dorky sci fi flick, like The Blob. I like to play with colors and large "filled" spaces. Large filled spaces are calming for me.

What about “The Tragic Rockabilly King”? Is this the King of Rock and Roll?

I'm very inspired by the idea of Elvis, who started out as a lean, handsome and energetic good ole boy from Mississippi and turned into an overweight, washed up and sad shadow of his former self. It's the American Dream turned upside down. It's drugs. It's who we are.

What’s the inspiration behind “Summer ‘92”? This artwork makes me think of Gatorade and Michael Jordan.

It makes me think of those things too. I love the early 90s because that era reminds me of childhood. We had great role models - Jordan, Ken Griffey Jr., Mario and the Ninja Turtles. It was an optimistic period in our history. Anything was possible. The opposite of today.

What’s the meaning of “At the Tentacle's First Sight”? How do you feel about the set of visual responses made to this artwork?

Well, that tentacle has to be coming from somewhere - so what's up in the tree? I think this was inspired by the kind of books I liked as a kid. Like The Teacher from the Black Lagoon. You always had a sense something awful was lurking behind that shadow. And I love the visual responses. I never would have guessed it would inspire so many sequels. I feel like George Lucas. I am George Lucas.

What about “H.R. Puff n' Lovecraft”? This is another chillingly scary artwork.

Is it scary? I thought it was cute. It's a Beanie Baby version of Lovecraft's Cthulhu.

Is MS Paint your only creative outlet, or do you have others (and if so, what are they)?

I actually do some "real" painting as well, though this is a newer hobby. My main creative outlet is writing. I have a blog about nothing (http://takelifeseriously.blogspot.com/) and I have an ongoing "e-zine" project (http://truestoriesofamericanboys.wordpress.com/).

And finally, what’s your favorite color and why is it the best color in the world?

My favorite colors are blue and red. Ask me on different days and I'll give you different answers. Blue and red are the most important colors, because one calms you down and the other one gets you fired up. Plus, together they make purple, my third favorite color.