Pleased to meet you, JoQusary

JoQusary is an MS Paint aficionado, a thoughtful visual responder, and a wonderfully avid hater of aliens. Her avant-garde artworks make the world tremble with intrigue, so I was delighted to have the opportunity to interview her for PA-G:

Your artworks follow the life and times of your ordinary, down-to-earth heroine JoQusary. Common themes in your art include love, self-reflection, and the bitch-slapping of alien-eyed anime girls. What is the inspiration behind these lovely MS Paint artworks?

I used to be a pen and paper artist before my brother stuffed the scanner with his packet of instant noodles - he thought this method would ensure the safety of his food supply before aliens come to invade Earth in 2012.

I had no problems with aliens until one day when a human male whom I had a crush on ran off with one of them. It broke my heart so much that I began to waste myself away drinking 16 cups of coffee per day while drawing on my laptop with MS Paint. An evil arch-nemesis of mine stumbled upon my drawings while attempting to pour cyanide into my latte and, well… we somehow got romantically involved thereon. He seems to enjoy being my muse while brewing cups of coffee for me now. I hope he doesn’t lace them with cyanide.

I’m extremely intrigued by “I Had a Weird Dream.” It appears as though you’re preparing your double-headed demon horse to launch an attack on a team of high school cheerleaders, but perhaps I am mistaken. Please tell me more about your strange dream and this artwork.

It is my habit to record any dream I experience in a dream journal whether in writing or drawing. In “I Had a Weird Dream,” I dreamed that the world has two suns. As if the global warming is not enough to kill us all. I found myself standing alone in the middle of a dry, parched land when suddenly a most peculiar looking two-headed creature of unknown species approached me, dragging with it an elaborate crib made of gold and red velvet. Veins of red stream gushed out of the ground underneath the crib. It contained the most beautiful infant I have ever seen.

The creature asked me if I could spare some milk for the infant. I have no experience in breast-feeding at all, but strangely that did not stop me from nursing him. That gained me approval from the creature, which before mysteriously vanishing into thin air said, “For centuries we have sought for his love.” I have been searching for someone who could interpret this weird dream, but to no avail.

And then there’s “How to Make Curry Puffs.” This looks like a delectable meal that incorporates a mixture of Southeast Asian cooking techniques along with the ingenious use of human sweat. Please tell me more about this delightful recipe.

A Chinese monk once told me that the secret to making the best curry puffs in the world is to press the dough between human armpits. The appearance and flavour of the curry puff depends on the humidity of armpits used in the process. Aside from giving the curry puff its trademark beautiful ring patterns, this method also ensures perfect salty and savoury taste that lingers in one’s palate after each crunchy bite. I thought it would be nice to share this fascinating recipe with the world through my artwork.

“Sick of Anime Girls” – who isn’t? Many young women today become fixated on the “anime girl” look, only to later find out that they attract unwanted attention from aliens. I really like your artwork because it seems as though you are slapping this anime girl so hard that you’re actually transferring your wisdom through your hand to her brain. Please tell me more about this phenomenal masterpiece.

As everyone is aware, the “anime girl” look craze has crept its way out of Japan and into the shores of other nations which originally did not have blonde Asian girls with eyes as big as rugby balls. Girls as young as 2 to 92 are deluded into thinking that rather than being themselves, looking like a non-existent cartoon character with excessively retarded mannerism will get them their prince charming, who will then whisk them away to live happily ever after in a silver-paved kingdom somewhere on the Moon.

Sadly, what they do not realize is that this message has been subliminally embedded in anime series targeted to young female audience by a group of horny aliens. These aliens, desolate of the female sex, strive to procreate with our females in order to preserve their alien race – by fashioning anime girls to suit the desired alien look before the process of selective abduction. I believe I am born with a mission to wake up all human girls in this world from submitting their will to these horny aliens. Once I have tried imposing the “Bitch Slap of Consciousness” on an anime girl for this purpose. Unfortunately, I have only come to realize that there was never a brain inside an anime girl’s two-dimensional skull.

I can really relate to “Fickle.” In four simple comic squares, you capture the complex and elusive nature of the female species. Just how is a man supposed to react to such unpredictable behavior? 

Being a woman myself, I admit that it is sometimes difficult to stick to a single feeling for a man at one time especially when he is not aware of it. At times, a man who unluckily becomes a woman’s object of affection might be adored like a god when she is in a good disposition; or showered with kisses when she is feeling passionate; or thrashed when she is having her menses. If only men knew when to hug and when to run according to women’s mood, relationships would have been easy breezy. But then again, where’s the adventure in such relationship?

Finally, what is your favorite color? Why is it the best color ever known to mankind?

I like the colour red – it symbolizes my attraction to life. In life one can never escape from anger, lust, guilt, sin, passion, joy, love, and sacrifice… just as one can never escape from seeing red. Red even presents itself among those who are colour-blind. It is the most tenacious colour on earth, and as demonstrated by most serial killers you can never simply wash away red blood with any kind of detergent. I believe it is the shade that reminds mankind to be determined and resolute in whatever they aim for in life, be it a silver-paved kingdom on the Moon or the tastiest curry puff in the world.