Monday, February 28, 2011
The Construction of His Eternal Tomb
DSFlora provides us with a glimpse into an ancient world of lizard subservience. In those early times, royal felines sought to gain a glorious afterlife through the construction of grandiose tombs and through the wholesale sacrifice of thousands of lizard virgins to the God-king Felinae.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Feline uprising
Every time I check the news, there seems to be a new set of countries that are plagued by riots. Libya, Oman, Yemen, Iran, Iraq, Croatia, the list goes on. Yet what the biased, anthropocentric Western media fails to report is that there have been significant worldwide cat uprisings at well. Grave atrocities are being committed wholesale against oppressive lizard regimes. Here is a new picture we recently came in procession of:
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Submit to my will, ye mortals!
The struggle between cats and lizards intensifies. I can't believe that my dear friend Austerlitz has decided to weigh in on the side of those diabolical reptiles. Behold his legendary artwork, ye mortals!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Cats vs. Lizards
Once during my college days, I visited a girl who I was dating in New Haven, Connecticut. She was a family friend of a Yale professor of medicine and she was babysitting his 8-year old son that day. I grew up with little exposure to kids so I really didn't know how to treat this youngster, but this awkwardness quickly dissolved. The kid was a child prodigy and a little expert on lizards and other reptiles, and he had an array of lizard books laid out on the table. He proceeded to school me on the greatness of lizards.
At that time, I was going through a bit of a cat-obsessed phase, so we argued over which animal was the superior, and I somehow got the idea to sketch an enslaved lizard populace serving royally dressed felines. The boy was a bit of an artist himself, so he started his own set of sketches, and the next thing I knew we were in an all-out artistic war to see who could prove the worth of their respective animal.
It's in the spirit of this artistic struggle that Paint Avant-Garde announces its first art competition: Cats vs. Lizards. The competition starts immediately and will finish at the end of Sunday, March 6th. You can compete and submit as many artworks as you want by uploading artwork at PA-G and tagging it with 'cats vs lizards.' We'll judge who produced the best artwork, and this will settle once and for all which animal is the better. May the best animal win.
At that time, I was going through a bit of a cat-obsessed phase, so we argued over which animal was the superior, and I somehow got the idea to sketch an enslaved lizard populace serving royally dressed felines. The boy was a bit of an artist himself, so he started his own set of sketches, and the next thing I knew we were in an all-out artistic war to see who could prove the worth of their respective animal.
It's in the spirit of this artistic struggle that Paint Avant-Garde announces its first art competition: Cats vs. Lizards. The competition starts immediately and will finish at the end of Sunday, March 6th. You can compete and submit as many artworks as you want by uploading artwork at PA-G and tagging it with 'cats vs lizards.' We'll judge who produced the best artwork, and this will settle once and for all which animal is the better. May the best animal win.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
The fish that judge you
A few years ago I studied the existential philosopher Martin Heidegger and his teachings continue to shape my experiences as I live and work in South Korea. One of Heidegger’s fundamental principles is that all people are governed by a basic, underlying culture that shapes the way they think, the way they act – that dictates a realm of possibilities for their everyday life.
Every day, I'm amazed at how the Korean way of thinking and acting is different from my own American way of thinking at a very basic level. I've heard clichéd interpretations of a "collectivist society," but these explanations are too simple to adequately explain everything I've experienced. Recently, through conversations with my Korean girlfriend I've stumbled upon an intriguing allegory – a story that made me feel as though I could see directly into her heart.
My girlfriend told me that when she was a child, she was wary of being near a fish aquarium because no matter where she stood, the fish seemed to be staring at her, and more importantly, unceasingly judging her. She said she was always on her best behavior in front of those fish.
This is a really cute story and I love to imagine my girlfriend acting well-mannered in front of pets. However, when I (as an American) start to think about how alien this thought process is to my own childhood, it quickly becomes apparent that Koreans are thinking differently at very fundamental levels.
Stories stick with you easily, and ever since she told me about the judging fish, I view everything my girlfriend says and everything Koreans do through the judging fish prism. Below I've outlined some Korean cultural curiosities and stories from my girlfriend which elaborate on the fish that judge you.
Don't jaywalk
Jaywalking is a normal phenomenon worldwide, and indeed is often necessary. When I traveled through Vietnam (also a "collectivist society") I learned to jaywalk like a pro. Yet in Korea, even on the smallest of streets, Jaywalking is extremely rare. I was always told that there was a "collectivist" propensity to obey rules, but the difference in Korea is deeper than that.
Whenever I'm with my girlfriend, she never wants to jaywalk with me and one day she explained why. She said that in Korea, no matter where you are, there will almost always be children around. If you jaywalk across the road and children see you doing it, they'll get the idea that this behavior is okay. They'll do it in the future, and they might even get hurt doing it. This fits with the judging fish allegory because the belief is that no matter where you are or what you do, you're being scrutinized, so you'd better keep your behavior up to par.
The ubiquitous camera
Walk the recesses of an ancient fortress, stroll through the halls of any building, stand at any street corner. Chances are you're on camera. Whereas in English-speaking countries we have a strong concept of "big brother" and other 1984-inspired concepts, as well as a strong aversion to the invasion of our privacy, in Korea it's perfectly normal to be constantly on camera, purportedly as a measure to deter crime.
Indeed, every classroom that I work in is rigged with a camera and microphone. At any time, interested parents can view the class from reception area of our school. Parents know this, teachers know this, and students know this – everyone is aware of this but also thinks little of it. That's because the cameras are simply an extension to the judging fish; it's already normal to live a life of perpetual scrutiny, so the ubiquitous camera is a technological enhancement to an already-accepted cultural phenomenon.
Hard work is good because people think hard work is good
Korea has a national obsession with education. In addition to their core public schooling, Korean students attend a mishmash of private academics on a range of subjects including English, Math, the Sciences...even martial arts such as Taekwondo. Because of their time spent traveling from one academy to another, and because of their huge homework and study workloads, it is not uncommon for students to get less than 5 hours of sleep each day. Many finish their school "day" at midnight or 1am, at which point they take a bus home and begin their homework. When asked what their favorite thing to do is, many Korean students have told me that they simply "love to sleep."
My girlfriend told me similar stories about her years in high school. She went to one of the best high schools in the city, which meant that she endured seemingly unceasing work. She went to class 365 days a year, slept 5 hours a day for a year, memorized 200 English words every day, and the list goes on. To my amazement, my girlfriend described a world that was completely alien to my American childhood of video games, school dances, long vacations, and relative leisure.
So in the end, was it all worth it? After detailing all her trying high school years to me, my girlfriend admitted to me that she knew her workload was unnecessarily large. She said that this brute force method of learning was "inefficient" – that she forgot much or even most of what she learned. Yet she said that whenever she meets other people, especially older Koreans, and tells them where she attended high school, she feels that they actually treat her much better. They show her respect for her hard work, and because of this respect she said, of course, that her hard school work was definitely worth it. If the judging fish approve, that's all that really matters.
Stories stick with you easily, and ever since she told me about the judging fish, I view everything my girlfriend says and everything Koreans do through the judging fish prism. Below I've outlined some Korean cultural curiosities and stories from my girlfriend which elaborate on the fish that judge you.
Don't jaywalk
Jaywalking is a normal phenomenon worldwide, and indeed is often necessary. When I traveled through Vietnam (also a "collectivist society") I learned to jaywalk like a pro. Yet in Korea, even on the smallest of streets, Jaywalking is extremely rare. I was always told that there was a "collectivist" propensity to obey rules, but the difference in Korea is deeper than that.
Whenever I'm with my girlfriend, she never wants to jaywalk with me and one day she explained why. She said that in Korea, no matter where you are, there will almost always be children around. If you jaywalk across the road and children see you doing it, they'll get the idea that this behavior is okay. They'll do it in the future, and they might even get hurt doing it. This fits with the judging fish allegory because the belief is that no matter where you are or what you do, you're being scrutinized, so you'd better keep your behavior up to par.
The ubiquitous camera
Walk the recesses of an ancient fortress, stroll through the halls of any building, stand at any street corner. Chances are you're on camera. Whereas in English-speaking countries we have a strong concept of "big brother" and other 1984-inspired concepts, as well as a strong aversion to the invasion of our privacy, in Korea it's perfectly normal to be constantly on camera, purportedly as a measure to deter crime.
Indeed, every classroom that I work in is rigged with a camera and microphone. At any time, interested parents can view the class from reception area of our school. Parents know this, teachers know this, and students know this – everyone is aware of this but also thinks little of it. That's because the cameras are simply an extension to the judging fish; it's already normal to live a life of perpetual scrutiny, so the ubiquitous camera is a technological enhancement to an already-accepted cultural phenomenon.
Hard work is good because people think hard work is good
Korea has a national obsession with education. In addition to their core public schooling, Korean students attend a mishmash of private academics on a range of subjects including English, Math, the Sciences...even martial arts such as Taekwondo. Because of their time spent traveling from one academy to another, and because of their huge homework and study workloads, it is not uncommon for students to get less than 5 hours of sleep each day. Many finish their school "day" at midnight or 1am, at which point they take a bus home and begin their homework. When asked what their favorite thing to do is, many Korean students have told me that they simply "love to sleep."
My girlfriend told me similar stories about her years in high school. She went to one of the best high schools in the city, which meant that she endured seemingly unceasing work. She went to class 365 days a year, slept 5 hours a day for a year, memorized 200 English words every day, and the list goes on. To my amazement, my girlfriend described a world that was completely alien to my American childhood of video games, school dances, long vacations, and relative leisure.
So in the end, was it all worth it? After detailing all her trying high school years to me, my girlfriend admitted to me that she knew her workload was unnecessarily large. She said that this brute force method of learning was "inefficient" – that she forgot much or even most of what she learned. Yet she said that whenever she meets other people, especially older Koreans, and tells them where she attended high school, she feels that they actually treat her much better. They show her respect for her hard work, and because of this respect she said, of course, that her hard school work was definitely worth it. If the judging fish approve, that's all that really matters.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Somali Pirates
Usually I just focus on making my art funny and place little effort on actually creating an aesthetically pleasing picture. In the case of 'Somali Pirates,' I was inspired by the well-drawn, maritime-themed artworks of hellopirate2 and I wanted to spend a little more time creating something that looked nice.
And behold! Somali pirates are fearsome and dangerous in real life, but in MS Paint they're just lovable little rapscallions. In addition to the menacing assault rifle and rocket launcher, I added some unrealistic/anachronistic features such as a parrot and sheathed sword.
Add a smile to one of the pirates, and suddenly they seem completely disarmed.
And behold! Somali pirates are fearsome and dangerous in real life, but in MS Paint they're just lovable little rapscallions. In addition to the menacing assault rifle and rocket launcher, I added some unrealistic/anachronistic features such as a parrot and sheathed sword.
Add a smile to one of the pirates, and suddenly they seem completely disarmed.
Friday, February 18, 2011
The birth of Paint Avant-Garde
One of my favorite artistic pastimes during college was to find pictures of celebrities or politicians, crudely alter them with MS Paint, then share that art with my friends via email. We had an artistic synergy going where one person would superimpose Rosie O'Donnell's head over an elephant's body, another would add Fred Savage and scrawl in some witty or convoluted comment with obscure vocabulary, and a third person would somehow relate the entire thing to a pressing world event of the time. We ended up with an ugly collage of awesomeness, and since that time I always had some vague intention of making a website dedicated to that pastime.
Flash forward 4 years and I finally got serious about making the website, I learned the PHP and other computer science mumbo jumbo necessary to make this thing happen. So two months ago I launched my beautiful baby Paint Avant-Garde. It's a lighthearted and low-pressure creative outlet that makes fun artistic expression accessible to both artists and non-artists alike. I hope that you will enjoy the website and take the time to create and share some witty, gritty, silly, crude digital artworks of your own.
Flash forward 4 years and I finally got serious about making the website, I learned the PHP and other computer science mumbo jumbo necessary to make this thing happen. So two months ago I launched my beautiful baby Paint Avant-Garde. It's a lighthearted and low-pressure creative outlet that makes fun artistic expression accessible to both artists and non-artists alike. I hope that you will enjoy the website and take the time to create and share some witty, gritty, silly, crude digital artworks of your own.
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