Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Four winning resolutions for 2012

Your life needs direction. Your life needs structure. You need a 5-year plan. And to top it off, you need a damn good 2012 New Year's resolution. Luckily for you, you're part of one of the most advanced artistic communities on the planet and you needn't look any farther than PA-G for inspiration.

Perhaps it's no wonder that there was a 4-way tie in that latest art competition of ours. That's right, four MS Paint artworks got a score of 8 and it's simply impossible to say which was the better. Take Stop Trying to Cut my dick off W a knife for example. Isn't this such an inspirational story about an ordinary man trying to stave off the strong impulse of genital self-mutilation? Happens to the best of us.


Ah, and then there's NEW YEARS RESOLVED LIFE DECISION. Most of us feel the strong urge to be more of a reptile or amphibian but few are brave enough to actually stick their necks out, be a man, and make the resolved life decision. Truly inspirational.


And let us not forget Learn to Land on My Birthday Cake. Before the advent of "cake landing reset button," many people actually died trying to land on their cake. It was - and still is - one of the most risky and extreme sporting activities known to mankind.


The last resolution is In 2012, I resolve to lose 5 pounds and it's already a well-known international sensation. However, some people have criticized it as being overly ambitious, and indeed it is. Leading weight loss scientists now say that you should not try to lose more than 1 pound over any 12-month period.

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